What to do when one family member is providing all the care

Sometimes the sibling who lives nearest to mom or dad will be the one who takes on the role of caregiver. For informal caregivers, family members or friends as opposed to professionals, this experience is perceived as a chronic stressor, and caregivers frequently experience negative effects on their daily lives and health. When other siblings don’t offer to lend a hand, the sole caregiver may develop feelings of resentment.

When caregiving results in chronic stress, it compromises the caregiver’s physical and psychological health. According to a study in the Oxford Journals of gerontology, negative effects of caregiving on physical health of informal caregivers are often found when caring for loved ones living with dementia (Pinquart & Sorenson, 2007).

Rather than letting negative feelings fester, the caregiver should be proactive and ask the other family members for help. Many times, the sole caregiver presumes that the situation is fully grasped by the siblings. However, this is often not the case. It’s important to explain to the other family members the challenges that are coming up from caregiving and then outlining specific ways they could help.

Since some family members may not be able to physically lend a hand due to living far apart or other access restrictions, they may be able to help in ways like paying for caregiving bills or visiting for a period of time so that you can take a break. Sometimes, lending a listening ear to the caregiving individual may be enough. Researchers have known for some time that people with supportive social relationships are happier and healthier than those who are socially isolated.

Using the proactive and communicative approach, caregiving can have positive outcomes such as helping informal caregivers feel good about themselves, giving them a sense of purpose and meaning to their lives, letting them learn new skills, and building stronger family relationships.

With that being said, sometimes even with a support structure and help from other family members, an informal caregiver may feel too distressed when providing care for the loved one. Risking one’s own health to provide care for another may be dangerous for the caregiver. If you or a loved one who is providing caregiving service needs a break, Right at Home North of Boston would be glad to help. To find out more, please give us a call at (978) 744-5151.

Pinquart, M., & Sorenson, S. (2007). Correlates of physical health of informal caregivers: a meta-analysis. J Gerontol B Psychol Sci Soc Sci, 62, 126-137.