Supportive Practices for Grieving Caregivers
Supportive Practices for Grieving Caregivers
Sometimes signs of grief seem obvious to identify: crying, feelings of sadness, a general feeling of melancholia. Others, however, such as a loss of appetite or sudden feelings of anxiety or frustration are less easy to pinpoint. However, they may very well be a result of grief as well. What these signs of grief are, along with ways to cope, were the subject of a recent webinar presented by Right at Home on May 24, 2018.
Presented in conjunction with the American Society on Aging, the webinar was hosted by Dr. Eboni Green. Dr. Green is co-founder of Caregiver Support Services, which specializes in supporting family and professional caregivers across the lifespan through direct supportive services. The author of three (3) books Dr. Green focuses on caregivers’ health and wellness, with an emphasis on caregiver stress, burnout and related family conflicts.
The hour-long presentation focused on identifying, describing and understanding supportive practices for frontline caregivers.
Dr. Green identified 4 commons myths about coping with grief:
1. The goal of grief work to find closure
2. Someone will move through the five states of grief and in about a year
3. The weight of your sadness will be lifted.
4. Grief is a “condition” that should be treated.
Losing a loved one changes your life forever. While you will likely not get over your sadness, it is possible to learn to cope. Therefore, it is important to be cautious of the suggestion that the goal of grief work is to find closure, that you should only experience sadness briefly and that you will then close the door on your sadness and return to “normal.” This is simply not true.
There can be many common symptoms associated with grief, including:
Physical Symptoms
o Crying and sighingo Headaches
o Loss of appetite
o Difficulty sleeping
o Weakness
o Fatigue
o Feelings of heaviness
o Aches, pains and other stress related ailments.
Emotional Symptoms
o Feelings of sadness and yearning
o Feelings of worry, anxiety, frustration, anger or guilt
Social Symptoms
o Feeling detached from others
o Isolating yourself from social contact
o Behaving in ways that are not normal for you
Spiritual Symptoms
o Questioning the reason for your loss
o The purpose of pain and suffering
o The purpose of life and the meaning of death
For some, when sadness lasts six months or longer with a general disengagement from participating in normal, everyday life activities and/or you are burying your feelings or you generally feel hopeless you may be experiencing a form of “complicated grief.” There may be feelings of detachment and, at the same time, feelings of guilt, anger and resentment. Complicated grief can result in depression, spiritual grief and post-traumatic grief response. If you are experiencing this type of grief you might need to seek professional counseling.
Dr. Green mentioned the following ways of coping:
Begin addressing your feelings
o Identify your biggest triggers
o Make a notebook that comprises your favorite jokes, photographs, letters, or anything else that brings a smile to your face
o It is important to take time to process your feelings
The Empty-Chair Prayer
o Symbolically allows your to acknowledge the person, your loss and feeling that you are missing at a special event like a wedding or holiday.
Creating a “Loss History” timeline can allow you to visually acknowledge that you may have experienced many losses over a period of time and allow you to view your bereavement as a whole to process it more effectively.
Right at Home has worked with many organizations throughout the Beverly Hills area with individuals suffering from the pain of grief after a loss of a loved one. From individual Care Managers to support organizations connected to hospitals like Cedars-Sinai and Olympia Medical to individual grief counselors and group support programs, Right at Home can help direct you to the support you may need.
