Finding Ways to Connect With Loved Ones In Their Last Years
Connecting With Loved Ones In Their Last Years
How can you continue to connect with and enjoy your partner, your parent or your loved one as they journey through their last years? These ideas are written with the dementia journey in mind but apply to how we might view connections differently.
Nourishing the Body and Soul through cooking can be a great activity and an excellent way to spend time together. You might begin by browsing a favorite family cookbook or recipe box. Use the pictures and the recipes to begin the conversation. Ask open-ended questions to pull them into the experience. Gather memories and encourage them to tell stories about favorite foods and gatherings.
Select that special recipe to make together. Choose simple and safe tasks for your cooking partner – perhaps measuring, adding the ingredients, stirring or tasting. Have FUN! Enjoy the rewards of your cooking! Even if your cooking partner cannot help to prepare the food they may still enjoy being a part of the action!
Reconnect with their tunes from their times. Just listen, maybe sing or even cut a rug! Music can invigorate, bring back memories of younger, happier days, and improve the mood in the present moment! Familiar tunes can be the pathway to recalling memories and enriching conversations.
Laughing. Who can resist a good belly laugh? A funny story, a humorous movie, or even intentional laughing can all have the same effect. Tests have shown that laughter is like an aerobic exercise for the brain. Moods are lifted, communication is encouraged, and we often remain energized, relaxed and in good spirits throughout the day! They don’t want to laugh? Enjoy your own laugh therapy. Not only is it contagious your partner can still gain some benefits from the sound of your laughter.
Lifelong hobbies can be a source of enjoyment both for the one receiving care and caregiver. Card games, bingo, quilting, cooking, reading, walks, gardening; all can be adapted to various abilities. The connection created needs to be more important than the end result. Activities may need to be scaled down. For example, bridge may need to become rummy, chess may evolve into checkers, a full garden may still be enjoyed scaled down to container gardens with tomatoes, cucumbers or herbs and flowers.
Some people use a list or a homemade deck of cards with favorite memories, sayings, simple pleasures, and people. Cards can be used for inspiration as a conversation trigger. Both partners may not experience the same level of interaction but enjoyment can happen both by telling and listening.
What can you do to increase the chances of success? Keep it easy and fun with no expectations or deadlines. Choose a quiet space free from distractions at a time of day when both parties will typically have enough energy to enjoy the activity. Select an activity that will be enjoyed by both parties and prepare supplies in advance. Remember to approach this activity with a spirit of playfulness. Take risks and try new things. Celebrate whatever happens and enjoy the connection. Thank the person with for participating in the activity build anticipation for the next big event!
