When Your Senior Parent Is Driving You Crazy

When you’re taking care of a senior parent it can be emotionally challenging as well as difficult. With the role of the caregiver being reversed, where you are no longer the child but taking care of the parent, complications can arise. The situation has changed and both you and your parent have to adapt to those changes.

One thing is to accept that things have changed. A parent depending on an adult child changes the balance of things. Sometimes the format of how things worked before no longer apply. Emotions may become charged as the parent realizes that now the rules are reversed, and their child is now taking care of them.

You will need to take each day slowly because this is unchartered territory for the both of you. Your parent may resent being in the position of having to be cared for. Plus, depending on the disease, it can slowly rob you of the parent you know and love. Preparing yourself emotionally for changes in your parent will help the both of you through this time.

Keep in mind that your parent has always had authority over you and now they don’t. This may cause them to become angry or lash out. Your parent may become upset over this loss and take it out on you and resent the very care which you need to give them.

As long as you can, allow your parent to have a choice in their daily routine and care. By giving them the option of deciding their own care and have an input on how to run their life, the happier they will be. Instead of orders, give your parent options if they are capable of making reliable choices.

If your parent starts to lose their cognitive abilities, keep track of it and have a discussion with their healthcare provider. You probably already know how to deal with any emotional dysfunction but cognitive dysfunction is a new road you will travel together. Cognitive dysfunction demands a new type of coping skill from you and you may need advice on how to deal with it.

Plus, your parent will know all the right buttons to push to get a rise out of you. Protect those buttons from being pushed by your parent, because even the most loving parent will try to push them at least once. This is because they want to still show some way of being in charge, but don’t let them push them. Your emotional well-being is your responsibility and don’t let your parent get to you.

Above all else, take care of yourself. Once you start caregiving, it’s easy to be consumed by it until there isn’t anything left of you. But if you don’t take respite time, go for walks and spend quality time just for you, you’ll be burnt out and have nothing left to give. If you make taking care of yourself as much as a part of your routine as taking care of your parent, you both will be happier. Even though you are being a caregiver, your life still needs to be about you.

In addition, don't forget to keep your friendships current. Sometimes when a person starts caregiving, friendships fall by the wayside. Don't let this happen to you because you need the support, care, and love of a friend. If you have someone you can talk to who isn't directly involved with the caregiving aspect, it gives you a chance to vent and put things into proper perspective.

Caregiving for a parent can be challenging, rewarding, exhausting and life-changing. If you do need help taking care of a parent, think about contacting Right at Home, they can give you the respite care that is needed.