Long Distance Caregiving: Home Care Can Help

In earlier times, it was common for families to live in the same community generation after generation. They could share the responsibilities that go along with caring for older family members. But today, we live in a much more mobile society. Families are often spread out from one end of the country to the other. They still stay in touch, but they do it by phone, e-mail, and occasional visits.

So, when an older loved one needs care and support or when a care crisis occurs, family members come face to face with the challenge of long distance caregiving. If this describes your situation, it's important to understand your loved one's needs and to work with other family members and professional service providers to make sure those needs are met.

Assessing Your Situation

The first step for staying involved as a caregiver, even at long distance, is to be well informed concerning the issues and the resources available. You need to talk to those who are on the scene. Ask lots of questions. Listen to what people are telling you. Take notes for future reference.

The information you gather plays a key role in planning and managing care. Discuss what you learn with other family members and the professionals who are involved. Your sources of information might include:

• your loved one
• family members
• friends and neighbors living close by
• apartment or other residential manager; and,
• your loved one's doctor or other care provider

Make a note of the names, phone numbers and e-mail addresses of anyone who can help keep you informed. And be sure to let them know how to contact you, if something happens that you should be aware of.

A growing number of long distance caregivers also find it helpful to work with a private geriatric care manager. This is a professional-often with a nursing or social work background-whom you hire to help you assess caregiving needs and coordinate eldercare services. Involvement can be from a one-time engagement (for example, helping you locate the right home care company), to an ongoing relationship in which the care manager stays involved as advocate and care coordinator on the local front.

Making a Plan

Once you have a feel for what the issues are, it's time to begin figuring out what your role can and should be. Here are some points to keep in mind as you do this planning:

• Make sure the right people are involved during the planning process-other family members, professionals, and especially your loved one.
• A top goal is to support your loved one's maximum level of independence. His or her self-esteem, dignity, and health status are all best served by remaining an active, informed decision maker for as long as possible.
• Set priorities for your involvement. You may not be able to get involved in all the issues you've identified. Decide what's most important and what offers the best match for the time and effort you're able to give.
• Remember, caregiving responsibilities often call for teamwork. If other family members are on the scene and are doing more than you are able to do, find ways to acknowledge the greater role they are playing. Ask their help in finding practical ways in which you too can help.

Home Care Can Be a Key Piece of the Plan

If you are worried that living independently is becoming too great a challenge for your loved one, but he or she prefers to stay at home, home care can be an excellent solution to provide security and peace of mind when you can't be there yourself. You can arrange for a qualified home care agency to send a caregiver every day of the week, or occasionally as needed. Your caregiver can:

• Help with housekeeping, laundry and other household chores
• Assist with personal care, such as bathing and toileting
  Prepare meals, including special diets
• Transport the client to the market, pharmacy, doctor's appointments, or just "out and about"
• Help with medication reminders
• Provide companionship and a sense of security
• Enable the senior to feel a sense of greater dignity by being able to remain in their own home; and,
• Ensure peace of mind by keeping family members-nearby and at a distance-advised about their loved one's well-being

If you live at a distance but siblings live near your loved one, consider that their schedules are probably as full as yours, with other family and work responsibilities. Resentments can quickly build when eldercare falls more heavily on one adult child than on others! Many families have found that arranging for qualified home care is a way to avoid having the "lion's share" of eldercare duties fall only on the children who live close to the senior who needs care.

A professional home care agency such as Right at Home St. Charles MD can help your loved one and all family members-near or far-experience the peace of mind that comes from knowing that help is at hand.