Hosting the Holidays as an Alzheimer’s Family Caregiver

Twinkling lights and festive songs herald the arrival of the holiday season, a time typically filled with family, joy, and tradition. When a loved one has Alzheimer’s, these occasions can feel different. Family members may wonder if they can still host as they did in past years or participate in cherished family traditions. While this season can bring its share of challenges for families dealing with cognitive impairment, with understanding and adjustments, it’s still possible to celebrate with our loved ones. Here are some tips to ensure a meaningful and comfortable celebration.

Prioritize comfort and familiarity: For someone with Alzheimer’s, the hustle and bustle of the holidays can be disorienting and stressful. Try to keep the atmosphere calm and avoid overstimulation. This means maintaining routine as much as possible – bedtime, mealtime, medications, and exercise – and perhaps celebrating in a familiar setting that your loved one recognizes. Familiar holiday music played softly in the background and traditional decorations can evoke pleasant memories and feelings of safety.

Simplify your celebrations: Decorating and planning elaborate gatherings can be fun during the holidays. However, simplicity is key when involving a family member with Alzheimer’s. Smaller, quieter, and shorter festivities can prevent your loved one from becoming overwhelmed. It’s also smart to schedule gatherings earlier in the day when a person with Alzheimer’s is more likely to be alert and engaged. If you’ll be attending a spiritual service, consider sitting near an exit so you can leave discreetly if necessary.

Involve your loved one in the preparation: Engaging your relative in simple holiday preparations can help provide a sense of purpose and joy. Allow them to assist with manageable tasks such as setting the table, decorating cookies, wrapping gifts, or doing crafts. These activities can stimulate their senses and evoke positive emotions, helping them feel included in the festivities.

When an older adult is living with Alzheimer's disease or a related disorder, holiday plans may need to be adjusted. If the family member hosting the gathering is also the primary caregiver, they may already have their hands full with caring for their loved one.

In such cases, it's best to keep things simple and opt for a more relaxed celebration. Alternatively, other family members can help with shopping, decorating, and cooking.

“As much as possible, help the family member with Alzheimer’s or the cognitive impairment remain part of the celebration,” said Greg Brewer, President of Right at Home Winston-Salem. “Your loved one may still have memories of holidays past. Encourage them to share their thoughts, and before the gathering, go through a photo album to remind your loved one about people who will be attending.”

Foster a supportive environment: The holidays are a communal time, so ensure friends and family are aware of your loved one’s condition and are prepared to interact appropriately. Brief them on the best communication practices, such as speaking slowly and clearly, and being patient with responses. Encourage reminiscing about old times, but be ready to gently steer the conversation if it becomes confusing or upsetting for your loved one. Ask guests to wear name tags.

Adapt gift-giving: Traditional gift-giving can still be a part of your holiday, but with a focus on usefulness rather than extravagance. Consider gifts that your loved one can enjoy immediately, like comfortable clothing, photo albums, or music from their youth. These thoughtful presents can bring comfort and pleasure to a person with Alzheimer’s.

Monitor for overstimulation: Keep a watchful eye on your loved one for signs of fatigue or agitation. They may not be able to communicate their discomfort as clearly as before. If they seem restless or overwhelmed, it might be time to take a break from the festivities and allow them some quiet time.

Practice self-care: Caring for someone with Alzheimer’s can be demanding, and the added stress of the holidays can take a toll on your mental and physical health. “But we believe it doesn’t have to,” said Brewer. Ensure that you also take time for rest and reflection. Accept help from others and don’t hesitate to reach out to support groups for additional resources, including emotional support. It may help to have a list of some tasks that family members can help with should they volunteer. These can include picking up groceries, bringing flowers, or wrapping gifts.

“At Right at Home Winston-Salem, our approach is to help you reclaim precious moments with your loved one, so instead of worrying about their bad days, you can celebrate their good days, whether during the holidays or any day,” said Brewer. “Most of all, we want to be there for you and your loved one, so you don't have to do it alone.”

Right at Home Winston-Salem offers a customized care plan with a combination of personal care, companionship, and homemaking, and just as importantly, we can provide respite care for you and your other loved ones.

If your loved one has received an Alzheimer’s diagnosis, there are professional resources that can help your family. Right at Home of Winston-Salem’s approach to dementia care and cognitive support is built on the belief that every person with dementia or cognitive change can interact with their surroundings and connect in new ways with their loved ones. Ours is a three-prong approach that includes:

• Ability: We create a caring environment that empowers your loved one and their current abilities.
• Personhood: We incorporate their life history, routines, and preferences into the personal plan.
• Lifestyle: We collaborate with you and your loved one to set goals and create support activities in nutrition, socialization, wellness, and awareness to minimize overall cognitive change.

By remaining flexible, planning ahead, and communicating thoughtfully, people can have meaningful celebrations that include our loved ones with Alzheimer’s disease.