Listening Tips To Enhance Your Relationship With Your Aging Loved One

You may remember your mother saying, “Listen to me when I’m talking to you.” Listening is a skill that requires more than simply hearing. For medical providers and those who care for seniors, listening is vital to the health of the individuals entrusting them with their care. However, listening is more than just hearing; it is also about following nonverbal cues to ensure an aging loved one feels recognized and understood. The power of this is that it supports a more meaningful connection, empathy, and a more nurturing setting. When a senior feels they’ve been heard and understood, trust is built, and it can lead to a better care relationship.

Tips To Ensure You Are Truly Listening

Psychology Today states that hearing and listening are two different things. Hearing is a physical act that uses only one sense and is passive. Listening, however, is a voluntary and active process requiring multiple senses. If you choose to listen, you are actively engaging with what you are hearing.

Here are some tips to actively listen to your older loved one so they feel you are paying attention to what they are saying.

Eye Contact. In addition to telling you to listen to her, your mother may have told you to look at her. The first step to being a good listener is looking the other person in the eyes, preferably at eye level. Avoid looking at a computer screen or flipping through papers. Not only will eye contact assure the other person you are paying attention, but it will also enhance your understanding of their condition.

Be Open-Minded. Mentally judging what the other person is saying means you’re not actively listening. If you’re thinking they said something silly or you would have done things differently, you’re only hearing and not listening. Recognize the difference in communication styles. Listen respectfully and acknowledge their personality.

Be Present. You may be making eye contact, but if your mind is wandering thinking about what’s for dinner or whether your teenager missed the school bus again, you’re not paying attention, and you may be missing important information about changes in their condition. It’s OK to jot a note or two for reference later.

No Interruptions, Please. Nobody likes to be interrupted when speaking. If you do not understand what the other person is saying, wait until they pause, then ask for clarification. It’s not uncommon for children or spouses of seniors to be present, but their interruptions are not OK either. You might stop them with a gentle, “Please, I would like to hear your mother’s/father’s/spouse’s thoughts.”

Offer Positive Feedback. Positive feedback is essential to letting the other person know you’re listening to them. It can be as simple as a smile, a hand gesture, or a touch. You may say, “I see,” or “I understand.” You could ask them to elaborate to get a good sense of what they are trying to say.

What’s Not Being Said. Nonverbal communication is often as important as what is spoken. Is the other person avoiding eye contact, fidgeting, or frowning while talking? Did their tone or cadence change? The above may indicate a change in their situation. Urge them to tell you more of what they are thinking.

How Right at Home Can Help

Right at Home can be your guide to help your older loved one live successfully at home, wherever home may be. Our services range from companion care and light housekeeping to personal care and assistance with Alzheimer’s/dementia, diabetes, and other chronic conditions. Our caregivers are passionate about helping clients and improving the quality of life for those they serve.

Communication barriers can be a challenge for families. Download our FREE RightConversations® Guide for additional tips on improving communication with your older loved one.

Or, for additional information, use our office locator to find the nearest office and ask for a FREE in-home consultation.