Helping a Loved One Who Hoards

The longer we live in a place, the more likely we are to have a lot of stuff piling up! Sometimes it may feel like our homes have turned into mini storage units. That pile of books we keep around, telling ourselves we’ll get to reading them one of these days. Or the closet that’s bursting at the seams with clothes we swear will be fashionable—or will fit—again someday (fingers crossed!). And who doesn’t have those little stacks scattered around the house? They’re full of mail we need to sort through or things we just can’t part with because they mean something special to us. Plus, let’s not forget about our collections—whether it’s national park stickers, comic books, cute ceramic figurines, magazines, or some cool antiques, we all love to gather stuff that brings us joy.

But unlike a collection or untidiness, hoarding is a unique diagnosable mental health issue similar to obsessive compulsive disorder. The home of someone who hoards isn’t just messy or cluttered—it’s dangerous and fundamentally unlivable. Here are signs that someone may have a hoarding disorder:

• Bringing more and more items home, while discarding nothing
• Compulsive shopping, sometimes purchasing several of the same item
• Saving junk mail, packaging materials and obsolete, useless items
• Items unopened in their original packaging
• Unsafe or unsanitary conditions (e.g., fire hazards, insects, rodents, spoiled food)
• Clutter that prevents the person from using the kitchen, bedroom or bathroom or accessing items they do need
• Isolation; not wanting to let anyone in the home
• Conflict with family and friends about the condition of the home

Researchers are testing out a new way to help older adults practice letting go of their excess belongings: virtual reality.

Using photos of each hoarder’s environment, Stanford University engineering students were able to recreate their homes in virtual reality (VR). Then, with the help of trained counselors, the people with diagnosed hoarding disorders practiced evaluating and discarding some of the items cluttering their homes. Eventually, most of the patients in the study found that their VR rehearsals helped them begin the process of decluttering and letting things go.

“People tend to have a lot of biases against hoarding disorder and see it as a personal limitation instead of a neurobiological entity,” said study author Carolyn Rodriguez. “We just really want to get the word out that there’s hope and treatment for people who suffer from this. They don’t have to go it alone.”

While it’s encouraging that scientists are studying new ways to help people with a hoarding disorder, more traditional approaches are available now. In many communities, “hoarding task forces” provide help in dealing with hoarding. These groups bring together social service agencies to tackle the issue. Mental health professionals and support groups are there to provide insight into why people hoard and how to overcome it. For homes that are really overflowing, “organization coaches” and specialized cleaning crews can step in to clear things up. And for coordinating all these efforts, there are aging life care professionals (also known as geriatric care managers) who can put together a plan to ensure safe living conditions.

If you’re worried about a loved one who’s not keen on getting help, it might be a good idea to get them checked out by a therapist or another mental health expert. Your local senior services agency should have some advice on this too. For even more info, the International OCD Foundation has a whole section on hoarding (hoarding.iocdf.org) with resources to help.