Grief and Coping with Loss Workshop
I have no energy and can’t eat but it’d been more than 6 months, what’s wrong with me? ”It’s a common belief that after suffering a loss that things will begin to feel 'normal' again after a set time period. But grief is a very deeply personal reaction to loss” explained Anne B. Pagano LCSW, ACSW, BCD, C-ASWCM.
On October 12, Right at Home of Lower Manhattan, Life Home, JK Daily Money Management and Karpoff Associates sponsored a Grief Work and Coping with Loss workshop at Brookdale Battery Park. Twenty-seven social workers and care managers attended the seminar to learn more about the grief process in order to help counsel and guide grieving clients.
The group learned the difference between grief and loss. Grief is the conflicting feeling caused by the end of or change in familiar pattern of behavior and loss is the harm or distress that comes from losing something or someone. Primary loss is the initial loss, then followed by the secondary loss which includes all the losses that follow the initial loss. An example of a primary loss and secondary loss losing spouse and now you’re no longer part of couple. Pagano explained grief is the normal and natural reaction to loss of any kind. Therefore, the feelings you are having are also normal and natural for you. The problem is that many people have been socialized to believe that these feelings are abnormal or unnatural. Grief is a very deeply personal reaction, there is no wrong or right, it’s not a straight line that has a beginning and an end and there is no set time period. It’s hard to identify with another’s grief since it’s not a simple process.
Susan F. Cohen, LCSW, MPH discussed the importance of rituals to help individuals cope with a loss in a meaningful way. One of the most common responses to loss is feeling like the world is out of control. Rituals help people overcome grief by counteracting the chaos and uncertainty that follows loss. Rituals are deliberate controlled gestures that trigger the feeling of being in control.
Key points when dealing with those who have suffered losses are:
- Be empathetic and patient
- Suspend your judgments
- Show understanding and compassion
- Pitch in and help
It’s important to remember people are resilient and time is a healer but it happens one breath at time, it’s not a straight path and dealing with loss is a very individual experience.
The three-hour workshop went by fast with everybody agreeing the information was very helpful. “Great presentation for a difficult subject” said Patricia, and Claire added, “This information was useful, especially the learning about the mourning rituals in various cultures. The food and raffles were very nice touches in addition to the materials presented. Thank you! This was a truly valuable seminar.”
(Clockwise from upper left image) - Albert Eshoo, President Right at Home Lower Manhattan presenting raffle prize; raffle table; Marilyn Karpoff, Karpoff Associates; Shirley Ng-Lew, Business Development Coordinator, Brookdale Battery Park)
