Handling the Holidays as a Caregiver

If you’re a caregiver, the holiday season can be overwhelming. You may love certain parts of the season but may dread the thought of other parts. Being a caregiver can be tiring from the physical and emotional demands of everyday life. But trying to shop for gifts, decorating, attending family events with your loved one, or even having to prepare the holiday meal can be more than you can handle.

However, if you took control of the situation, the expectations and even the relationships, it could make an enjoyable difference in the way you and your loved one celebrate.

Setting realistic expectations

If your loved one has dementia, Alzheimer’s or another chronic illness, then you need to take control of your holiday. Think about how many events you both can attend without your loved one becoming overwhelmed. Decide what people and family members you’d like to see the most. If you need to make a contribution of food or drink, say what you’ll bring instead of being told what to bring. Give yourself permission to say no to whatever you feel won't be in the best interest of you or your loved one.

Prepare the family for any changes in your loved one

If your family member has experienced changes in their health or has declined, prepare your family members. You could send an email or a letter before the holiday get together and explain your loved one's current health issues. For example, if they have dementia, you may want to clarify that the person may not recognize everyone and not to get upset if they don't. You may mention if there's been a significant weight gain or loss. If your loved one is using a cane, walker or in a wheelchair. If your loved one must have help eating or attend to personal needs. Or, if your loved one may have unpredictable behavior issues due to dementia or Alzheimer's. By preparing everyone ahead of time, it will help your family member to enjoy the family holiday.

Allow other people to help

During the holiday gatherings, there is an abundance of family and friends. Taking some time to yourself and letting someone else take over caregiver responsibilities will allow you to enjoy yourself. It may also be enjoyable for your loved one to have interaction with someone new.

Take some me time

Being a caregiver can mean not having any time to yourself from morning to night. Be sure to get enough sleep, to eat right and get some physical activity. To get into the holiday spirit, have an at-home caregiver, such as a caregiver from Right at Home Nassau Suffolk, come in for respite care a few hours one or two days a week. Get out and see the holiday decorations or have a great lunch with a friend. You could gift shop online or by catalogs to save the stress of standing in long lines. Then take the extra time to take better care of you.

Practice traditions

When you practice traditions, it brings more meaning to the holiday season. Even a person with dementia can remember traditions from the past. This could mean making a favorite dish for a holiday meal, singing holiday songs together or even visiting a place that brings back fond memories. You can also create a new ritual if old ones have painful memories.

Toxic people

Some people have family members who are toxic to be around. They could bring up unpleasant memories for your loved one or be mean or nasty to them. To protect your family member from these members of the family, don’t feel guilty for not inviting them to gatherings. If there is something said about it, just mention that our family member isn’t up to being around a large group of people. Inform them that they are welcome to visit after the holidays.

Putting the health of your family member and yourself first is the best way to get through a stressful holiday.