Hosting the Holidays as an Alzheimer’s Family Caregiver

Twinkling lights and festive songs herald the arrival of the holiday season, a time typically filled with family, joy, and tradition. When a loved one has Alzheimer’s, these occasions can feel different. Family members may wonder if they can still host as they did in past years or participate in cherished family traditions. While this season can bring its share of challenges for families dealing with cognitive impairment, with understanding and adjustments, it’s still possible to celebrate with our loved ones. Here are some tips to ensure a meaningful and comfortable celebration.

Prioritize comfort and familiarity: For someone with Alzheimer’s, the hustle and bustle of the holidays can be disorienting and stressful. Try to keep the atmosphere calm and avoid overstimulation. This means maintaining routine as much as possible and perhaps celebrating in a familiar setting that your loved one recognizes. Familiar holiday music played softly in the background and traditional decorations can evoke pleasant memories and feelings of safety.

“Seeing family, putting up a tree, cooking a particular dish, going to a child’s home, attending religious ceremonies—whatever it is, focus on the activities that will bring your loved one the most joy,” advises Right at Home franchise owner Sandi Heintz.

Simplify your celebrations: Decorating and planning elaborate gatherings can be fun during the holidays. However, simplicity is key when involving a family member with Alzheimer’s. Smaller, quieter, and shorter festivities can prevent your loved one from becoming overwhelmed. It’s also smart to schedule gatherings earlier in the day when a person with Alzheimer’s is more likely to be alert and engaged. If you’ll be attending a spiritual service, consider sitting near an exit so you can leave discreetly if necessary.

Sandi advises her clients to keep it simple. “Scale down your celebrations,” she says. “Maybe a smaller group of family can come to mom’s house, or have a couple small gatherings.”

Involve your loved one in the preparation: Engaging your relative in simple holiday preparations can help provide a sense of purpose and joy. Allow them to assist with manageable tasks such as setting the table, decorating cookies, or doing crafts. These activities can stimulate their senses and evoke positive emotions, helping them feel included in the festivities.

That may not include a lot of planning and preparation for the event, Sandi advises. “You don’t want to give them too much notice about holiday gatherings, as they may fret about an upcoming event.”

Foster a supportive environment: The holidays are a communal time, so ensure friends and family are aware of your loved one’s condition and are prepared to interact appropriately. Brief them on the best communication practices, such as speaking slowly and clearly, and being patient with responses. Encourage reminiscing about old times, but be ready to gently steer the conversation if it becomes confusing or upsetting for your loved one.

“Be honest about what’s going on and prep your family members that it might not be the same,” Sandi says. “Don’t expect what used to be, but enjoy the moment and the time you have with family members.”

Adapt gift-giving: Traditional gift-giving can still be a part of your holiday, but with a focus on usefulness rather than extravagance. Consider gifts that your loved one can enjoy immediately, like comfortable clothing, photo albums, or music from their youth. These thoughtful presents can bring comfort and pleasure to a person with Alzheimer’s.

Monitor for overstimulation: Keep a watchful eye on your loved one for signs of fatigue or agitation. They may not be able to communicate their discomfort as clearly as before. If they seem restless or overwhelmed, it might be time to take a break from the festivities and allow them some quiet time.

“You have to meet your loved one when they are at, ” says Sandi. “If they want to go home, then go home. The key is not overextending.” She recommends not pushing your loved one to interact with people at an event. A person with Alzheimer’s may not remember all members of the family.

Practice self-care: Caring for someone with Alzheimer’s can be demanding, and the added stress of the holidays can take a toll on your mental and physical health. Ensure that you also take time for rest and reflection. Accept help from others and don’t hesitate to reach out to support groups for additional resources, including emotional support. It may help to have a list of some tasks that family members can help with should they volunteer. These can include picking up groceries, bringing flowers, or wrapping gifts.

In-home caregivers can help manage Alzheimer’s caregiving tasks and become an important part of future holidays. And remember that they are there to help you, too. Sandi reminds her clients that it’s not selfish to need some time away, even during the holidays.

By remaining flexible, planning ahead, and communicating thoughtfully, and getting help with caregiving, people can have meaningful celebrations that include our loved ones with Alzheimer’s disease.